In someone else's shoes

One thing I've never particularly been into is second hand shoes. Don't get me wrong, I've seen plenty of lovely looking recycled footwear displayed prettily in second hand and vintage shops - from the dusty shelves of Value Village to the most upscale consignment boutique. But for some reason, I just can't wrap my mind around slipping my toes into previously worn shoes.

The stench of a thousand feet

Perhaps it's because my size 9 feet would have seemed like they belonged to a mutant Sasquatch to the average woman living in the 50s, and thus I have a hard time finding anything bigger than what looks like an eight year-old child's shoes. But in all honesty, it's the idea I can't get over. I mean, I am all for putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Just not literally. The thought of walking around in footwear that has absorbed some unknown individual's foot sweat (or perhaps much worse...toe jam? Athlete's foot? BUNIONS?), and then sitting around a shop letting the juices fester just doesn't seem that appealing to me. And with a father who worked in microbiology, I'm all too aware of the fungi that can linger in places for many, many years.

Sure, you could wear socks. But I've smelled some of my shoes and boots that have never had a bare foot touch them - not pretty. Socks don't do a good job of absorbing moisture (at least, not with my feet). And there's no real way to clean shoes unless you spray the hell out of them with Febreze and anti-fungal disinfectant. So unless I'm going to be covering my feet in HAZMAT material, I think shoes are going to be one of those things I'll leave to other buyers.

Now, I do happen to own (and have previously owned) hand-me-down shoes from friends and relatives, which I think is a great way of acquiring new wares. The difference is, you actually know where the shoes are coming from. It's like this: let's say, there are two curtains. Behind one is a good friend of yours, and behind the other is a complete stranger who you can't see. You have to make out with one of them. If you don't, you'll spontaneously combust. Don't ask why, it's a hypothetical situation and logic doesn't apply. So, do you make out with the complete stranger, or someone you've known for years? I mean, in reality both of their mouths are probably just as bacteria filled, their breath is likely just as bad, and there's a chance you could get Mono from either party. But wouldn't you rather know who the Mono came from? If I'm going to get plantar warts from wearing someone else's shoes, I'd rather have the opportunity to blame it on someone I already know. So I can shame them. Publicly.

I have nothing against other people buying second hand and vintage shoes - all the power to you! But I think I'll stick to things I can throw in the washing machine.

Would you take the plunge?